TCIS Journal

by C. Ikpoh

1/6/20: 12:01 am - As I live my life, I realize everyone, and everything has had their moment already. Whether or not those times are up I cannot say. Nor will I continue to try and determine, because the fastest path forward to my blessings is a direct one, and it is too difficult to walk in a straight line looking backwards. It is time to leave the wilderness of horrors behind and look ahead to the beauty of the unknown land promised to me.

12/29/19: 1:06 am - My writing often reflects the darker recesses of the human condition. From an individual who harbors intense hatred, to a lay person with malice in their heart after having it broken, everyone has lived in that space for at least a fraction of a second. Being an artista is about creating a voice for that very moment.

12/28/19: 12:30 am - My writing outside of The Creative Extreme will always be flagrantly unapologetic for its mysticism, supernaturalism, and devotion to anything born from passion, whether that passion be light or dark. There are no corporate or financial aspirations behind it. There is no desire for acceptance, nor a feeling to explain. It is deeply personal and will always reflect everything the world would dispel as myth or spiritually taboo. To me, that is what being an artista is all about.

12/13/19: 11:19 pm - Art exists because reality needs an escape, and artists are the brave souls daring enough to explore the other side.

9/16/19: 1:30 am - It is not a question of when your cup overflow will. It is a question of how much water spilled from your cup will it take to damage everything around it. When you discover this answer is when you discover your true breaking point, for life continually gives us more than we can handle. Getting through life successfully is not allowing yourself to break. Yet, we all live grossly estimating this solution and never obtain any finite answer. Our worlds are houses of cards built next to a damn riddled with cracks. Eventually, the water seeping through that we have been selectively managing will eventually become a deluge of powerful waves crushing our worlds, after the patchwork damn we have built to maintain our false sense of normalcy bursts into tiny pieces.

So, what is your breaking point? Find it, and then stay the hell away from it. You never know if your cup that is running over is spilling into a reservoir behind a cracked damn that cannot hold another drop.

9/9/2019: 9:04 pm - Dear Death,

It has been three years since we reconvened on the anniversary of my birth. Yet, you have made the waters of time unshakably morbid as I navigated through the Sea of Life. In my mind, beneath the trained focus and pragmatic methodology I subscribe to, you have been courting my creativity. You have bedded my muse with an irresistibility preventing me from shaking your energy. You have always been there and always will be there, molding this fact into an indelible sense of awareness inhabiting my consciousness. Thus, each day has become a blessing - more alive and more tangible; a fact you shall never cease to remind me of. Every moment is a favor I owe to Death. You watch over me to ensure no spirit of youth reinvigorates my temple, quickening my gait or enabling vitality. Your oppression is a slow pressure, weighing down my soul. You seek to instill in my heart the message our destined walk together is etched into tomorrow. Nevertheless, I am strong. My spirit is a pillar of a resistant foundation. I still stand, my friend. I still stand.

Until the next ninth of September...

8/26/19: 12:23 am - The more blessed my life becomes, the more hostile my world becomes. The love is shallower. The handshakes are weaker. The hugs are shorter. The smiles are narrower. The laughs are scarcer. My own speak with the energy of my downfall in their hearts. The illness of negativity and jealousy are real.

8/23/19: 12:18 am - Humans are both beast and higher being. We are dually from the mud and from the divine. Yet, while everyone balances between both, an artista is split residing within both extremes.

8/22/19: 11:45 pm - When you are an artista, living inside your own mind away from the world and everyone in it is the greatest feeling imaginable.

10/11/18: 12:58 pm - When one chapter of life ends another begins, and I am holding the pen. (Self-Made)

8/7/18: 1:28 am - Traditional formats are the arch nemesis of an artista.

7/21/18: 2:35 am - Broken dreams are things we own and hold on to that become broken. Broken hearts are things we owned but gave away that are returned to us broken. Broken promises are things we own given to us by someone else that become broken. All are a part of the economics of our existence.

11/2/17: 11:50 pm - There exists no greater sculptor than choice, for through it our ever-changing natures are molded into who we eventually become.

10/19/17: 10:58 pm - When the muse consumes me I exist in this meta-level of imagination, and being able to use my visions to artistically create realities and bring thought to life is next to godliness.

8/8/17: 2:40 am - The work of an artista is meant to be a vessel. It is created to take you places.

6/1/17: 12:45 pm - One's desires may be simple, but how they manifest in their life takes after the type of person they are. If they're a dynamic individual, their desires are going to manifest that way.

​3/19/2017: 4:39 a.m. - Each night I exhale a breath into the sky. The winds of life carry it across the Atlantic. It develops power as it crosses through Anambra state in the old country... Nigeria. It acquires wisdom from the heavens as it reunites with the spirits of my ancestors in Nimo. The sun will carry my breath back to me as it rises. Before re-entering my lungs, it will invigorate my daughters and my clan. Then, together we shall all awaken stronger than the rest... as Ikpohs.

2/21/2017: 12:19 pm - My heartbeat is a vision not realized until after its last tick. Its rhythm will live on forever, and it will inspire many hearts that follow. My heartbeat will change the way hearts beat forever.

2/11/17: 3:00 p.m. - Whether you subscribe to intellect or spirituality, there is only one criteria for being a genius or enlightened, respectively: knowing that we are all mad, and true insanity is suppressing our madness to conform to the thoughts and ways of the world.

2/8/17: 12:41 a.m. - When you have written something that makes you uncomfortable, you know you have tapped into a very true, very real part of yourself. When you are hesitant to let people read it, you know you have something worth sharing. When you know it may change how they view you, you know you no longer view yourself the same because the piece is transformative. But when you have written a new, inspired piece that scares you, you know it may not have been you that wrote it but something sinister. And God help me if that is not as exciting as it is damning.

2/6/17: 9:52 a.m. - Quality art is not subject to time.

9/9/2016: 12:00 a.m. - Dear Death,
It is the ninth day of the ninth month marking my 34th year of existence. Since my first breath you have been drawing life essence from me, and this moment is no different. Though the years have began melding together, the increased firmness of your grip does not go unnoticed. Neither preservation nor imagination can erase your constant presence. I know now I must embrace you, welcome you into my heart, and seal a bond with you in order to gain your favor. Such is the only path to embark on in order to ensure your favor, allowing me to be blessed with more time to forge the path I wish to leave for my legacies. We are to become kin. You are my blood and I am your spirit. As one, we are the heartbeat of Father Time. 34 occasions have seen us beat against his sternum. Thus, I ask of you, old friend, to hold my hand as we journey towards our 35th beat.

​7/29/16: 8:56 a.m. - Immortality is only worth the value of the world lived in.

7/7/16: 12:19 p.m. - Repeatedly painting a rusting car to make it look better will not prevent it from eventually falling apart. Racism has been eating away at this country for centuries. As long as people keep trying to defend, rationalize or justify it and its symptoms - knowingly or unwittingly - this great nation will continue to fall apart.

​6/5/16: 12:26 a.m. - Every decision is a step towards our destiny, which is unavoidable. All we can do is learn from our experiences and try to chose the best path possible.

4/3/16: 5:47 a.m. - To create is divine, making creativity the essence of a god.

4/3/16: 5:43 a.m. - I am unapologetically creative, and my creativity flows from my insanity. Therefore, I am unapologetically insane.

4/4/16: 12:51 a.m. - I write because I have a voice, and that voice tells me it is better to be quoted than to go through life quoting others.

3/5/16: 1:00 a.m. - I am misunderstood because I am fallible. My gifts are misunderstood because the world is.

3/5/16: 1:05 a.m. - There is no greater pain than to be lost amidst your own human nature.

3/5/16: 1:07 a.m. - My psychosis is onset by what I must do conflicting with what I want to do.

3/5/16: 1:10 a.m. - One can only be tired for so long before giving in to sleep.

3/5/16: 1:12 a.m. - Weariness is my tormentor, and it is a sadist.

3/5/16: 1:13 a.m. - Nothing is more infamous than our own thoughts, for they lie down with secrets.

3/5/16: 1:15 a.m. - Confessions are for masochists.

3/5/16: 1:19 a.m. - The reason we have barely scratched the surface to discovering what the meaning of life is, is because the world is more concerned with looking at their reflection on that surface instead of digging deeper beyond it towards truth.

3/5/16: 1:22 a.m. - Nothing will be of value anymore if we continue to price everything.

2/18/16: 1:06 a.m. - Empathy and intent constitute the thin line between a psychopath and a prince

12/15/15: 12:30 a.m. - A cool breeze only asks once to soothe you in a swelter. After that, it is gone forever.

11/28/15: 11:30 p.m. - I write as if I have pierced a quill into my heart and drawn each letter with my own blood. Every word is a drop of me.

10/24/15: 12:28 a.m. - You never are in the presence of your true self until you exist within those moments where you are living your purpose.

7/23/15: 10:10 p.m. - At times, I do not know if I am in control of the voices my characters have, or if the voices my characters have are in control of me. To be honest, a part of me hopes it is the latter. That excites me.

7/3/15: 10:57 p.m. - Thoughts on writing "Charasha":
As I write, I feel. I see and hear it all in my head. When I finished this piece, I felt as if I was not alone, as if something was behind me, breathing on me, encroaching on my space. It forced me to pray. That's when I knew I wrote something worth sharing.

3/26/15: 7:36 a.m. - Emptiness residing in a person leaves them vulnerable to be used as a pawn in the game of life, and it is imperative to know manipulation is not difficult. Maintaining interest in the manipulated after they have served their purpose is. Thus, why the pawn is immediately discarded after their use has expired.

2/25/15: 10:00 a.m. - The promise of what a man can be takes the greatest of women through the worst of times.

1/9/15: 2:46 p.m. - The test of every man in his time is how well he's able to preserve his character through the changes around him.

10/26/14: 2:47a.m. - Every now and then your mind wanders, and when it returns, it comes back with thoughts of someone particular. You wonder about this person; about if they have ever had their wandering mind return with thoughts of you. It is usually then your mind remembers their absence was so sudden, coming after a high of connectedness and growth together. History had repeated itself, but you continually held on to the memory of how it felt to be close to them. This clinging of hope and emotion was rewarded with another cameo from this person, but only for a brief moment of deep bonding before they disappeared once more. Occasionally, you begin to gain traction with moving on minus the need, want or interest of their inclusion. That is when they manipulate the universe and throw themself back in your life. Again, only for a brief moment though. Your sentiment gains the better of you, allowing your heart to revel in the blink of time they reappear to remind you of how much you want some sort of life with them. This also means you will feel every second as they drift away from you faster than they arrived. It is a vicious cycle: the joy their spirit brings and the pain it leaves behind once it is gone. Yet, that vicious cycle is your relationship with that person until you relieve yourself of them. Gain comfort in their absence, for in it lies your liberation.

10/22/14: 12:41 p.m. - People cannot simply live happily because life is not based on happiness. It is based on survival, and survival is a self-serving instinct.

10/3/14: 5:45 a.m. - When a man's ambition births an appetite greater than his ability, madness ensues.

9/21/14: 12:39 a.m. - The trials and tribulations of life can never compare to the final judgment of hell for those deemed unrighteous. Yet, heaven seemingly cannot be fathomed as a righteous judgment for those deemed worthy when compared to the trials and tribulations of life. Such is the conundrum of spirituality, and the essence of faith.

8/18/14: 10:26 p.m. - When I read insightful musings, or hear a well-constructed and sound argument of substance, it is like pornography for my

8/17/14: 12:00 a.m. - Life, like anything else worth dedicating oneself to, is a continual refining process. The social aspect is unfortunately inherent and a necessity varying in degree per the individual. I say unfortunately because it tends to cause frequent detriment to one's conscious equilibrium. Thus, it is imperative we employ diligence in the refining process of our social lives. Consequently, experiences akin to the one you described will occur. Most become anchored to the disappointment and hurt. Some translate the experience into apathy, causing stagnation. Conversely, the wise accept the outcome as a product of refinement, and progress forward with the heightened level of social awareness and aptitude attained.

8/7/14: 3:27 p.m. - Loneliness and familiarity together are a narcotic.

7/14/14: 2:02 a.m. - I write because it is what I love. It is what my dreams are made of. Very little makes me happier than creating written word. To some I am odd, and others could genuinely care less. As a person with any love, I want to share it with the world though, and the apathetic disinterest or misunderstanding can be painful. Nevertheless, my love will never diminish because ultimately I write for me, and that is all that matters.

6/15/14: 2:20 a.m. - Temptation is the veil between our imagination and fallacy.

6/12/14: 1:05 a.m. - The cruelest joke can be an impermissible curiosity born from a mutual understanding.

6/12/14: 12:51 a.m. - The sycophantic literacy of the mob increases exponentially upon your secular ascendance, and decreases exponentially upon your spiritual one.

6/8/2014: 8:04 a.m. - In the midst of our mortality lay the mission of understanding, for love can only come from obtaining knowledge through learning the spirits of all things, which ultimately leads one to empathy for them. And it is this empathy that is the heart of our existence.

5/28/14: 5:20 p.m. - Devaluation of intellect and artistic ingenuity is as rampant in society as an undiagnosed virus inside the body. Carnal, secular and material desires have become the disease by which the importance of great minds -- both academic and artistic -- has succumb to despite their best efforts.

5/2/14: 1:04 a.m. - So many words, so few open minds. Such is life.

4/20/14: 10:28 p.m. - Fleeting is how my muse has been. So, tonight like many others, I ready my mind to run into the night sky as I sleep.

4/12/14: 12:46 a.m. - The barrier of respect is what makes faith possible. It is the separation of the being from the deity required to establish a supernatural relationship. One must respect the ability to never become like their deity. One must respect the image and knowledge of the deity, as well as the reality that most likely, no tangible proof will ever be given to substantiate the deity's existence. In addition, the being must respect the inability to form a sound argument surrounding their beliefs. And if they can respect all these things and still believe, then faith is born, for it is in respect where spirituality lies.

4/13/14: 12:38 a.m. - Love is meant for everyone. "Their" love or "that" love is not. This is a common blunder made by mankind: to look at other examples. You must find love inside yourself before you can seek it elsewhere. And when you do find it inside, it will emanate into the universe and attract the love of another, making the connection "your" love which you both own.

4/12/14: 12:29 a.m. - A definitive sign of the times is the emphasis on perception over reality. It need be vice versa. Perception is merely a false illusion created by the acceptance of said illusion due to a lazy mind which refuses to challenge and analyze the experience before them. Truth and righteousness will reign supreme once the mob mentality of slothful consciousness ceases, and everyone is held accountable for their words and actions to measure up to a standard of the highest level.

4/12/14: 12:21 a.m. - Man learns by utilizing the senses to register experiences in the brain. This is why race shall forever be an issue in this world until everyone reprograms their nature to learn through experiences of the heart and not the mind, for the heart does not know a color but that of red from the same blood which flows through all our veins.

4/12/14: 12:15 a.m. - The arrogance of the mob grows exponentially as apathy towards the qualities of intelligence and culture increases. Just as the path of righteousness is beset on both sides by inequity, so is the path of wisdom beset on both sides by ignorance, and man cannot progress without wisdom.

4/10/14: 5:37 p.m. - Sometimes, a person that is so magnetic and unique can unwittingly create an alternative reality within the eyes, hearts and minds of others by simply being who they are. Often, that person is misunderstood and falls subject to the reality of the others. Other times, the person resists the alternative realities and navigates them to their benefit. To this person, I find no fault in their manipulations, for it is worse to selfishly subject the person to an association through ignorance of the truth, than to survive it and gain achievement.

4/7/14: 11:04 p.m. - The eyes of the wicked lie within the skulls of those dressed with glasses of inequity. Faith will not allow their gaze to fall upon you.

3/22/14: 1:49 a.m. - Survivors do not talk. They survive and live to tell their story afterwards.

12/30/13: 12:37 p.m. - It is imperative that we, as a society, achieve massive change in the rhetoric surrounding intellect. We cannot continue to stigmatize knowledge -- both secular and mystical -- for straits shall surely become dire since a mob is neither sentient nor reasonable, and that is what we risk becoming as a collective race.


12/1/13: 4:56 a.m. - The breeze travels alone through the leaves of trees. Yet, the whole world shares in their conversations. Alas, not even nature can trust itself. Therefore, what is a poor man to do when he cannot afford solitude?


9/21/13: 3:02 a.m. - My spirit is solar. My heart is lunar.


9/17/13: 6:42 p.m. - Facing posthumous recognition but not necessarily death. And when that day comes, I will ensure the world is dead to me, leaving only my angels to walk alongside me on the clouds.


9/17/13: 8:22 a.m. - There is no denying the genius of ingenuity; no denying the bold and their relentless fortitude. You cannot critique that which defines the experience of an artista because it does not lend itself to such trivial scrutiny or opinions. Who we are, what we create, why we create what we do, it all has a higher place in the lexicon of human production. The mind's invention of an artistic reality through imaginative manifestation at the hands of a sentient being is divine. It is next to godliness, for no other act is as closely related to that of our supernatural beginnings.


9/9/13: 5:47 p.m. - Dear Death,


Another year has passed and you did not scribe my name in your ledger. You did make your presence known though. The ominous void that lingers as you invade my personal space is undeniable. It can never be mistaken. I see you in the undertones of speech. I see you embedded in movement. You are omnipresent, eternally rivaling Father Time. Nevertheless, my clock persists on ticking. Your cold breath fogs the exterior, but beneath the mist, my hourglass still runs. I inch closer to your touch with each breath, but I am a foreigner to your clutches. I live on. Until the next ninth of nine I guess - I guess I will see you around.


7/9/13: 6:10 p.m. - Nothing provokes more raw emotion than revelations made between kindred spirits, regardless of their natures.


5/27/13: 12:37 a.m. - Our existence is cyclical with an unfathomable origin and destination that can only be theorized. All we can speak intelligently and passionately on is the in-between: the lives we live. Thus, the goal should be to complete our days with intelligence and passion. A life completed in any less of a fashion would leave the revelation of the unknown as a hollowed end achieved with unworthy means preceding it.


5/25/13: 1:37 a.m. - To the wise I say, “Do not strive to be understood. Strive to be heard.” The masses will never be able to understand you because they refuse to listen. However, they will always be able to hear the audible sound of your message. Therefore, let your words be spoken and stored in their minds. Do not press to impart understanding upon them. You will go mad attempting such. If it is destined to be so, only time can unlock the pearls of wisdom they received from you.


5/25/13: 1:15 a.m. - It is true that a master of minds is always positioning themself on the board within our game of life, because the key to success is being multiple steps ahead of that which transpires, maneuvering far before the rest as they form their destinies according to the moves you played many turns ago. This affords a master the ability to predict the future by way of having the power to decide what that future is for both themself and those in their life.


5/18/13: 1:02 a.m. - In a world where money is power and cruelty is the universal currency, the hearts of righteous men must be rich with resolve.


5/12/13: 10:38 p.m. - The problem with a muse is that when it no longer serves as inspiration, often the works it inspired goes forgotten. Or, worse yet, the works become a reminder of the bitter taste left upon revisiting it.


5/8/13: 9:45 p.m. - The devil is more real than you can ever imagine. His skill is masterful in its subtlety, often leaving the snares of his traps virtually undetectable, or even in the guise of good. We all would be wise to heed this fact.


5/3/13: 12:47 p.m. - The voracity of modern human ambition has usurped morality and righteousness. Society has become filled with cannibals in a war of gluttony. Mankind dines on the demise and suffering of their fellows, digesting all they seek to gain, while their excrement is filled with the things they see no need for, rendering them useless.


5/1/13: 11:17 p.m. - As I watch the world deteriorate from the commercialization of debauchery and sin, I ponder how cannibalism became preferred over starvation. We are eating each other to obtain our own personal gains while not realizing true advancement comes from surviving through the struggle together.


4/26/13: 11:48 p.m. – It is like watching the rapid deterioration of a timeless statue, the accelerated wilting of a gorgeous flower, or the perfect dream house burn to the ground. Your gaze is fixated, trying to savor what once was with each passing second, but know that eventually nothing will be left there before you. You pray for a way to stop it, hoping you will wake up from what is really a nightmare. But there is no awakening. The destruction before you is real, and so is the sorrow you feel.


4/23/13: 6:52 a.m. - People, especially those you regard as close, will diminish under discernment through reflection and meditation. Let them prove their worth or dissolve through fate at no fault to your own. Such is the nature of changing life seasons.


4/19/13: 6:08 a.m. - Spokes are essential to keep the wheel intact. However, believing you are just a spoke on a wheel amongst the others in the life of someone you love makes you feel much less than essential.


4/18/13: 9:26 p.m. - It is inevitable that exhaustion will follow patience, even when practiced by the most steadfast and durable. Cease with all avoidable stagnancy and hesitations. Patience is often finite when living and loving, even amongst the most dedicated with their promises.


4/18/13: 8:21 p.m. - Even the words of a peasant can move a king when those words are sorely desired to be heard. Never withhold such words from someone you care for if you know it would make them feel like royalty. It means more to them than you know.


4/18/13: 8:09 p.m. - Sometimes the strong are as strong as they are because they have had to keep themselves standing after being weak for so long. Not because they have never allowed themselves to become weak.


4/18/13: 7:54 p.m. - A mind engaged in enlightening others by sharing of discovered knowledge and insight forever wonders if it has given anything to the world that, if taken away, would be missed. I wonder...


4/17/13: 6:23 p.m. - It is the gravest of mistakes for any man who claims to be in love with a woman he has received love from in return, to not make her feel special every waking moment they share together.


4/17/13: 6:12 p.m. - Some adventures in life must remain undiscovered. But, oh, how glorious the fantasy of said experiences is to the imagination!


4/17/13: 6:07 p.m. - I would rather have a bleeding, genuine heart capable of true love that is divided, than a whole heart beholding inferior love.


4/17/13: 6:04 p.m. - Love is as fate prescribes, not how we request it to be. Knowing this, we are placed in a position which allows magic to flow freely sans the obstruction of unnecessary effort.


4/16/13: 6:55 p.m. - It is better to conduct and experience relationships while perpetuating a facade of friendship or love, for then you can remain objective in advancing towards your own personal gains, and sever ties with no emotional or mental anguish when a person has outlived their usefulness.


4/16/13: 6:49 p.m. - A master of the mind and heart can feign the greatest of emotions, including love, while being immersed in a person or situation while preserving their natural state of apathy and form of strategy.


4/16/13: 6:40 p.m. - Excess paint on one's picture of their life only distorts the quality. It does not increase it.


4/16/13: 6:28 p.m. - At some point after discord, not even love can mask the distance grown between two people. They may see their relationship as being close. However, in actuality, they are miles apart, gazing upon one another through binoculars of sentiment and memory.


4/16/13: 6:19 p.m. - Once the porcelain mask has been removed, it does not matter how beautiful a person is. You will never see that person the same way, and you will forever measure the old to the new, with the new paling in comparison every time.


4/16/13: 7:44 a.m. - The day love becomes of a singular mind is the day we cease being human.


4/15/13: 8:03 p.m. - Inside the heart of absence, both fondness and apathy can be birthed. That which shall be is contingent upon the nature of the relationship's fate.


4/15/13: 2:30 a.m. - The power of attraction, coupled with understanding from bleeding hearts sharing rare knowledge of self, equates to inevitable love.


3/24/13: 9:34 a.m. - A mind thirsty for knowledge and understanding is always at the mercy of the mysterious.  It never is, though, at the mercy of the needlessly mysterious. Do not mystify truth or facts to gain the attention of a mind thirsty for knowledge and understanding. It recognizes substance. Ploys will only pester and annoy it.


3/20/13: 6:58 a.m. - I understand that life without expectations will protect you from disappointment and keep you surprised. Yet, life without expectations also allows for the fibers of morality, ethics and responsibility to unravel. Consideration is never heeded because no one expects to be treated accordingly. Accountability is non-existent because no one is held to a standard. It is easy to live life without expectations and to have others hold no expectations of you. It is righteous and just, though, to hold yourself to certain levels of expectation as well as others. To an extent, we are each other's keepers. We are a community whether we like it or not -- a global community -- and though one may not be actively engaged in it, they will always remain a presence. Every action has a ripple effect – whether minute or grand -- throughout the universe. We cannot be removed from the community. And as a part of each, we must continue to drive and progress one another forward if we are to thrive and grow into an uncertain future not promised.


3/13/13: 5:55 p.m. - A strong mind coupled with a big heart may construct illusions around the people we let close to us and love. This is most notably for those we are in love with. Often, these illusions do not serve well though. It is imperative we dismantle them, for the illusion will certainly cause hurt when the reality inevitably shines through.

3/13/13: 5:50 p.m. - Finding more and more in life that the dream is so much greater than the reality.


3/5/13: 6:46 a.m. - If one is their own worst enemy, I ask you, “Is the enemy of thy enemy your friend?  Or are they your enemy?”


3/4/13: 9:50 p.m. - If one makes a promise to a deserving person, and then said person proves to be undeserving, should it not be permissible to break the promise since one is no longer dealing with the same deserving person that the initial promise was made to?


3/1/13: 6:43 p.m. - I would travel the black seas of space and the sands of time for just one moment where we could love each other freely.


2/22/13: 5:35 p.m. - Actions are words in motion, and since we are visual creatures, they resonate with us. This is why you should watch how people move, especially those closest to you. It will open your eyes, mind and heart to the truth about people.


2/20/13: 6:17 a.m. – What is in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. What is in an anniversary? That which we call our love by any anniversary would be as eternal. Neither time nor words can provide definition for what we have shared since the day our worlds
joined. Each footstep we make together in this life is mirrored in the next, as our journey shall forever progress deep into the heavens. Our bond is that
enduring and special. I love you, and I will forever be indebted to you for becoming my namesake and creating a life with me as my wife.


2/7/13: 6:49 a.m. - Science is the methodology of man factually proving the mysteries of life God has given us. It does not negate or work to dispel God's existence. It is to the contrary actually, for science helps all understand God's wondrous works. The more we discover the more simple we find everything really is in this complex and intertwined universe. If you ask me, that type of understanding is a miracle in itself.


1/26/13: 2:44 a.m. – Often, we look at flaws elsewhere when our lives do not seem to agree with the idea or desire of things, when it is our own flaws that have brought upon such disappointment. Chastise your own character before another's. You will find your ideas and desires in life much more fitting and attainable.


1/26/13: 2:36 a.m. - The differences between a "girlfriend-quality" woman and a "wife-quality woman" are many. The wife-quality, as opposed to the girlfriend-quality, is emotionally mature and intelligent. She knows how to navigate the journey of a relationship with her mind as well as with her heart. She doesn't use game, recycled lines or try to posture. She doesn't hold back her feelings, thoughts or emotions. She is completely open to communicate at anytime, anywhere and about anything. She puts pride aside and realizes her kind words, compliments and appreciation go a very long way. A wife-quality woman is always in it to win it, regardless if things are good, bad or there appears to be no hope. She builds you up with her love, affection and strength. Her commitment and desire to be with you are unfading, unrelenting, and will always be evident. She is forever true. This is the type of woman one should make their wife.


1/24/13: 8:27 p.m. - In a relationship, actions certainly speak louder than words. But why cannot a person receive both? I, for one, say practice what you preach, as well as preach what you practice. A person may not be able to see what it is you are doing for them and what they mean to you.


1/11/13: 7:30 a.m. - When you will die for something, you know you have found a key piece to the puzzle of your life's meaning.


1/10/13: 6:49 p.m. - I wake up today looking to adopt the ancient proverb "This too shall pass". Nothing in this world is insurmountable with faith, and it is in faith that all one deserves and desires shall happen. It is one's foolish mistake to think they can create something of their own human ways.

I wake up today looking to adopt the ancient proverb "Patience is a virtue". Rome was not built in a day as they say. An oak doesn't grow to its magnificent height overnight. All truly special things take time to occur. They must be nurtured and handled carefully.

I wake up today looking to adopt the words "I am sorry". The mark of character is being able to confess your wrong doings and mistakes, whether they were of action or of words. I offer this to all that this message fits, especially those that I wholeheartedly care for.

Finally, I wake up today looking to adopt the words "Thank you". Saying these words not only shows appreciation, but humbleness. First and foremost, I offer these words to God. Second, I offer them to the very few special, close individuals who comprise my daily happiness, sanity and love. Next, they are offered to all those who have found it in their heart to show me love and appreciation in return. May these words gently reach your hearts and spirits.


1/9/13: 6:24 p.m. - Expectations with people are a double-edged sword. They can be met and bring joy, or they can not be met and lead to disappointment. Better to deal with those you can have faith in that make you believe, than those who may or may not be able, or want, to live up to


1/8/13: 11:20 p.m. - Fear has no place in love. When it is present, love cannot grow. People cannot grow. Magic cannot flow. Embrace trust and release your fear.


12/23/12: 10:43 p.m. - MAGIC is seeing a person happy -- seeing a person smile -- because of something you have done for them, and instantly having everything in your world become right and make sense.


12/17/12: 6:14 p.m. - The most difficult, trying journeys are always the most valuable. The journeys when a person tells you, "Do not set your expectations high," or, "Most likely you will not see or achieve a change,” those are the journeys you absolutely must pursue. Not because of the challenge, but because your genuine desire and passion for the journey exists to change the lives of all involved. Have the patience. Hold the course. In the end, those involved will love you for all you have done, and the blessings you receive will be greater than you could ever imagine.


12/16/12: 11:00 p.m. - Lord,

This thing called life we have before us each day is enigmatic to say the least. Without definition, we live every moment to discover what the next holds. I am extremely grateful for all of the blessings You have bestowed upon me. Nevertheless, after 30 years of life I must admit I am weary. Yet, I forge on through the strength my faith provides me. It is now, however, that clarity is imperative. Whatever Your plan is, whether it is good or bad, pleasurable or painful, amazing or tragic, as long as it is Your will, I am accepting of it. Lead me to clarity, Lord. Lead me to the next moment.

Your servant,


12/7/12: 7:30 p.m. - It may be they do not realize who it is that is feeling, appreciating and wholeheartedly considering them. It may be they do not know how to express their desire to reciprocate the same feelings, appreciation and consideration. Or, it may be they do not share those same feelings, appreciation and consideration. Whatever the case may be, that person does not deserve you.


11/15/12: 6:19 p.m. - Loving without being loved, wanting and yearning the unreceptive, looking for that which looks past you, concerned with that which shares no similar concerns, desiring the unattainable, navigating that which has no map; they are all a part of a journey with no destination. Imagine it and realize death.


11/15/12: 5:27 p.m. - The only way to improve oneself is to focus on oneself. It is the time for a particular selfishness. Nothing new or nothing peripheral should be allowed, just the One and all that is imperative. Sacrifices must be made. The destination, however, is well worth the journey.


11/9/12: 10:05 a.m. - Contemplation can bring you immeasurable peace or inescapable insanity.

10/9/12: 7:28 a.m. - Love, money, acceptance, happiness, all are seemingly elusive pursuits of the heart. They are attainable, however. And it is because of this fact people continuously behave in nonsensical, idiotic fashions.

8/22/12: 6:?? a.m. – (written in 2001) - "Eventually, as with every species pre-dating Homo sapiens that has dominated this planet, the time will come when our survival will be contingent upon our ability to adapt. These adaptations will ultimately culminate into the species reaching a pinnacle - a point where the cross-breeding of genetic lines will filter out all weaker, lesser genes, and unlock the ultimate combination to achieve the final pedigree of human being. Since the only way to obtain such a combination is by mixing all races and ethnicities from all regions of this planet, and securing their strongest attributes to permanently become embedded into the human DNA code through millennia of genetic filtering, it is logical to conclude biracial and multiracial individuals as the next step of evolution towards the pinnacle of Homo sapiens. They are the initial pedigrees." - An excerpt from Christopher E. Ikpoh's

"Pinnacle Theory"


8/22/12: 6:33 a.m. - The thing about growing is the bigger you become, the smaller most of those around you get. It is because of this they will feel overshadowed or looked down upon. But nature, with its design, intended for you to receive more light and to be looked up towards. Therefore, never stop growing. Though it may be an excuse for the little to remain so, your growth is inspiration to those with room to do the same.


7/29/12: 12:56 a.m. - It is of no matter if you are intelligent, beautiful, rich, funny, and are of all the wondrous things dreams are made of. If you remain unsuccessful at finding love, it is time to stop searching elsewhere for the right person, and time to start searching inward for a new you. Change must come from within or you shall continue to get hurt and find yourself alone.


7/13/12: 8:54 p.m. - There is a point in life when your unwitting persistence against what is meant to be condemns you to a physical manifestation of the consequences stemming from your errors.


7/2/12: 6:30 a.m. - There is a reason why the lowest point of life is called "rock bottom". You cannot stand firm on sand, and God knows we need to have a solid base beneath us in order to rise again.


7/1/12: 3:13 a.m. - In life, if you put your faith in man, you will die having realized many a promise made to you has been broken. If you put your faith in God, you will die having realized many a promise made to you have been kept.


5/10/12: 1:51 a.m. - The shortcomings and plays of our past are best left alone. We learn from them only in the moments of their immediate passing. After, they serve as irritants to closed wounds.


4/15/12: 1:22 a.m. - Embracing insanity is the only way to truly be free.


3/13/12: 7:30 a.m. - I stare at the moon and it glares back at me with mal intent. It is no surprise this rock was the foundation for our most malevolent state of mind - lunacy.


3/12/12: 2:43 a.m. - I comprehend "Infestation", "Oppression", "Obsession" and "Possession". Yet, I find it exceedingly difficult to resist the symptom of withdrawal as the efforts of my fellow man to master life grows less and less.


3/12/12: 2:32 a.m. - The frustrations of the righteous in this world are tantamount to those of the martyrs, saviors and saints who have come before us, for in no other time has inequity aborted the children of this universe from their mother named Truth.


3/12/12: 2:27 a.m. - Every night I stare into the velvet sky while counting my blessings, fighting the urge to beseech God for more understanding, because I feel it impossible to feed my quest for knowledge and not belittle the grace bestowed upon me.


3/12/12: 2:23 a.m. - I cannot accept that what we know is all there is. It makes this life --all the joy, pain, triumph and failure -- too one dimensional.


3/12/12: 2:05 a.m. - Fact of the matter is I will be forgotten. What I philosophize and theorize will most likely provoke nary a mind within my lifetime. What I create and write shares the same fate. The exposed are apathetic and indifferent, consumed by secularity and self-absorption. Self-preservation of the individual's interests overshadows my ingenuity. I await the afterlife, where you all will only begin to learn about your judgment whilst I bask in eternal comfort and peace for having served a lifetime of unappreciated teaching.


3/12/12: 1:57 a.m. - The only realization to be made about life is that we can either accept or deny the truths. There is no relativity, only the singular reality encompassing all time and space. We are in no position to ignore such, because we are nothing without these truths.

2/16/12: 1:50 a.m. - The problem with possessing higher intelligence is that most will not understand you. The problem with being truly creative is that most will not relate to you. The problem with being innovative is that most will doubt you. The problem with being ahead of your time is that most will never appreciate you while you are alive. However, the problem when you are all of these things is that most will inevitably demand to have a piece of you.


1/25/12: 6:20 p.m. - They say you should never discuss race, religion and politics. I am beginning to firmly agree. Not because it causes debates. Debates are healthy. It is because 99% of people do not know what the hell they are talking about. The thoughts I read and hear from people is outlandish and blindingly ignorant.


12/31/11: 1:13 p.m. - The changing of the year is significant only in the mind. The clock crosses the midnight hour with the same simple motion of a singular tick. The magic of the occasion -- the magic to change one’s self -- lies within one’s self.


12/29/11: 3:38 a.m. - It is of no wonder why our demons are so attractive, so alluring. They are tailor made for our beds. We are meant to lie with them. Their magnetism is sewn into the fabric we seek refuge amongst. To purge ourselves of them, we must be willing to lie exposed in the cold, uncomfortable in our most trusted place of solace. Only then will they desire to leave our bedside. And when they do, we must be ever so careful, for when we remake our beds, it must be done with brand new sheets of the likes we have never used before, lest we forget our bed mates and how fond they are of the
old ones.


12/18/12: 9:03 a.m. - When the sky reopens upon dawn, the light of God breaches the horizon, awakening the grace which quickens the departure of night's looming presence. The sun is heaven's ladle, pouring the blood of Christ over the world. Our sins are forgiven, and the new day is a blessing for the righteous. All glory and honor is yours, Heavenly Father. Hallelujah!


12/12/11: 8:00 a.m. - For the wise to fear being misunderstood is illogical. They are the wise. It is those who misunderstand which should harbor fear. Their lot, along with those who do not care to make an effort to understand, is the one of ignorance - a dire fate indeed.


12/10/11: 4:09 a.m. - The wise are rarely heard. When they are, they are ignored. The magic of ignorance is omnipresent, and it forever haunts the everlasting desire of the wise to have their gift be shared with all.


12/10/11: 4:05 a.m. - The irony of being disappointed with apathetic people, both the knowing and unknowing, is that you will inevitably become one of them.


12/10/11: 3:56 a.m. - The eternal flame of hope that burns in my spirit is slowly being extinguished with each passing moment. Each day the words and actions of people become more contradictory to the righteous efforts I put forth to aid them. Never did I expect to be peering over a cliff's ledge into the Sea of Apathy. Alas, here I stand.


11/24/11: 11:37 p.m. - The wise can recognize when a person, place or thing has been irreversibly compromised. In such an occurrence, it is imperative for the individual to initiate the process of withdrawal from that which has lost its integrity, and transition to a suitable alternative which is able to preserve
the purpose of that it is intended to replace.


9/9/11: 12:30 a.m. - Hello, Death. It is 12:00 a.m., and I see you wasted not a moment. I will give you this. When you said I am the one person whose time you would personally collect each day from the moment my birth, you were not lying. I willingly give you this past year. However, take it knowing I fear you no more. I shall see you next year… or sooner.


8/29/11: 1:35 a.m. - The power of words in the mouths of the capable is remarkable.


8/24/11: 11:53 p.m. - We live in a society where we gear our efforts towards the indulgence and satisfaction of every carnal and secular desire man has ever had and continues to have. The wise and the righteous do not lead anymore. Their voice is not heard. It is overpowered by the words of the sycophants, and the inner voice in our heads that allows us to be deceived by their rhetoric.


8/22/11: 9:17 p.m. - It is said a righteous individual living within a society holding inferior moral values will shun their praise and loathe their acceptance. Yet, I cannot help but empathize with this society. Many will say my understanding and compassion are signs of decreasing consciousness. I saw it is a testament to the belief in survival and redemption.


8/22/11: 9:16 p.m. - In a world with so many answers, it is the questions that are necessary to enlighten our path.


8/7/11: 10:48 p.m. - The greatest infliction of pain on myself is the one brought by my endearing sense of hope in people and my sympathetic understanding of others.


8/3/11: 1:37 p.m. - I write to better man's understanding. It is for this reason I will forever be misunderstood.


8/2/11: 2:22 a.m. - Believe me when I say nothing is wasted more in this life than words.


7/26/11: 2:28 a.m. - Already being insane prevents you from re-experiencing the traumatic event of losing your sanity. However, in the state of lunacy, each thought carries the potential to trigger an episode of extreme mental instability. This constantly weighs on the already fragile mind of the lunatic. Thus, it is conceivable that "Hell on Earth" does exist.


7/24/11: 4:52 a.m. - When all you have left are the voices in your head, how can the world fault you for not listening to anyone? When only one shoulder is occupied by a representative of good or evil, how can the world fault you for not listening to both sides?  Such is the life of a tormented soul.


7/18/11: 3:52 a.m. - Though the real war is not in this life but the next, we must fight the true fight now, for it shall determine amongst which lines we ultimately stand with and against.


7/12/11: 10:55 p.m. - I welcome dysfunction. We should be breeding insanity and chaos. They are the true flavor of life. How else are we supposed to discover the furthest most recesses of the human mind? How else are we supposed to push the limits of our man made ideologies? Nurture the deterioration of our sanity. It is the only way to go where we have always been too afraid to venture.


6/12/11: 11:29 p.m. - How do I know God exists? When the sun retreats and the night sky is upon me, or when I stand in a room of darkness, I know I am not alone. I am in the presence of things that do not wish me well. The fact I am alive today, and with a portion of my sanity in tact, is proof enough for me God exists.


6/7/11: 1:07 a.m. - God remains at the helm of all creation, and is known to us in a seemingly innumerable amount of forms and names. Yet, the purpose of life remains inexplicable. It is the most enigmatic secret. Shall one look to history or the future to unlock the answer? Shall one query themself or their neighbor for clues? Perhaps, just perhaps, one need not do anything. Maybe that is the key. Can simply living life end the infinite?


5/1/11: 12:15 a.m. - The fickleness of the mob reflects their intellectual and emotional depth.


4/30/11: 12:16 a.m. - If there existed an actual pillar of strength and it could speak, would its voice not sound weary?


4/28/11: 9:27 a.m. - It has happened throughout history but only at momentous times. When Mozart first sat at a piano, when Jimi Hendrix first picked up a guitar, when Bruce Lee launched his first kick, when Ali first laced up the gloves, when Michael Jackson took his first step, when Michael Jordan first picked up a basketball; at moments like these the universe shed a tear, for it knew what unparalleled greatness was to come. I pray one day I may discover the moment when I made the universe weep. It will mean I have embodied my divine gifts and exceeded my purpose in this life.


4/24/11: 9:50 p.m. - To be ahead of your time is to be truly lonely. The majority will not understand you, and most of those which do will lack the vision to see what you have seen.

4/4/11: 10:31 a.m. - Beware those who speak in tongues. Forked tongues only speak with venom, silver tongues only speak with deception and flattery, and loose tongues speak too much and too often.


2/14/11: 4:19 a.m. - They stand there, they look at me, and they say to themselves, "I know him." All of them are liars in the worst way. Only you know who I am. Only you see who I am. Only you - it has always been only you. Time eventually revealed this to be true after a lifetime of cruel punishment, holding us away from each other while keeping an obligation to its lover, fate. Now and forever, we are one. I love you, Marisa Ikpoh.


1/17/11: 6:02 a.m. - People no longer have the ability to reflect anything. We are faceless creatures.


1/17/11: 5:41 a.m. - Need has been replaced by want. Us has been replaced I. Self-preservation has become self-indulgence. Truly, we live in a world where the overwhelming vast majority only absorbs and consumes. Individuals, as well as the collective, have evolved into a mutation of "the end", as opposed to "the means", which we were intended to become in order to behold a singular truth.


1/2/11: 1:12 p.m. - Time continues forward with the same diligence on the eve of our calendar's renewal as it does on any other night. Thus, the need for celebration or resolution is minimal in reality. Only in our minds do the latter become magnified in priority and importance.


1/2/11: 1:03 p.m. - Life is what it is. What it means depends on the definition we give it. What we want life to be about will mold our journey. Being as righteous as we can be, seeking truth, and actively living what we want, that is what life is about.


12/24/10: 6:15 a.m. - Exploring certainty delivers only that which bides our time, solidifying an inconsequential death. Romancing the unknown defines everything essential in the universe over all planes of our existence, dignifying one's moment of passing. To truly live life and reap its innate value, we must disregard what is understood about it and embrace what we do not.


11/26/10: 8:33 a.m. - Beauty is a blessing unlike any other. A reflection of God's likeness, it is the one gift bestowed upon us with a divinity superior to all origins. Once realized, it connects with our soul, captivating us by imprinting its indelible mark. Beauty truly is part of the defining purpose behind our existence.


11/24/10: 3:07 a.m. - Life is the greatest teacher, and experience is the most grandiose method of learning. There are endless lessons presented to us during our journey through this world. The more senses we utilize during each second, the more resonance it carries within our conscious; life and experience constantly advance us. They coexist in perfect harmony.


11/20/10: 5:59 a.m. - Balance is what enables life to stand on its own two feet and continue forward. Without it, we fall and walk about astray with no direction.


11/7/10: 6:00 a.m. - Is constantly experiencing what you know to be true but cannot prove insanity? Or is doubting something after knowing with absolute certainty it happened, insanity? Things I cannot explain fill my past just as much as the questions surrounding their validity. Maybe my insanity is the war between the two that constantly wages in my mind, heart and spirit.


11/6/10 - 4:47 p.m. - Craziness is like a drug. When used properly, it can serve a great purpose. When abused, it is destructive. Embracing insanity is the only way to truly be free.


11/2/10: 7:12 a.m. - It can be said each life in this world is better characterized by its transgressions rather than its good deeds, for a person's true character lies within their flaws. This begs the questions, “Do we, as people, have the heart to embrace righteousness? Or are we damned to the perpetual chain of inequities which define our existence?”


10/2/10: 7:12 a.m. - Darkness provides not the inability to see, but vision within our own mind. To penetrate the impenetrable, we must shut out all that which our senses are attracted to. This creates pure darkness: the absence of any stimulant. We must travel beyond our own boundaries of sanity and reason to converse within our stream of consciousness that lies just outside the mind's illumination. Once there, the fear of recognition and understanding must be overcome, for realizing your true self is terrifying. It is amidst darkness that the light of self-discovery shines through.


9/28/10: 4:26 a.m. - Being alone is often the only catalyst which can spurn us to embark on the path of enlightenment to discover one's self, mind and spirit.


9/14/10: 5:49 a.m. - Truth is the prophet to the masses. It is a conduit between that which is and what we know to be. It transcended beyond a vision long ago, and began imposing wisdom upon the world. There remains no excuse for ignorance. Those who reject truth will be shunned in the 25th hour. Heed the logos of the prophet. It is our salvation, propelling our endurance of life towards immortality.


9/9/10: 2:12 a.m. - This life means nothing. A birthday is only a reminder we are still mortal. Our true born day is at the moment of our passing.


9/7/10: 3:27 a.m. - In our final hour, it is almost unfathomable that mankind will not be judged as an utter failure. The truth behind the ideal of our kind escapes me. How can it be an infallible God is responsible for our existence, yet, our execution of life has almost certainly been inept? Our flaws far exceed the possible answers to the mystical inquiry of "Why?" which pertains to all things. No amount of future repentance can erase, obscure or overtake the magnitude of debilitation we have self-inflicted. It is apparent there has been, and never will be, a greater tragedy than mankind's existence.


9/7/10: 1:48 a.m. - This world and everything in it is infinitesimal. People are insignificant. Yet, we worry about our problems, our livelihoods, and our existence as if these things are not inconsequential when compared to "the" truth. How can God not be disgusted with us?


8/24/10: 7:12 a.m. - My insanity is the fuel for my genius. It allows my creativity to flow freely, exploring the furthest most recesses of my mind. There are no inhibitions on my thoughts. Thus, I am free of all mental boundaries. I embrace my insanity, for if I did not, my genius would cease to exist.


8/13/10: 3:31 a.m. - The brain continues to function for a matter of minutes after the body is dead. What transpires during this time? Is that when the soul is being reviewed for its placement on Judgment Day? Does this allow for miraculous revivals to occur, because it was deemed the wrong time for the soul to be collected? Does this prove the true lifespan of a brain is only a few minutes without a spirit to give it life? I wonder...


8/12/10: 1:44 a.m. - Search for the darkest of places; the place where light has never shone. Once this place is found, make a home there. Become a fixture within the environment, and absorb as much darkness as possible. Then, sit alone in silence. Focus all energy inward. Dissolve that darkness with inner light. Once this is achieved, repeat the process until no darkness is left. This is the mission of the righteous.


8/10/10: 3:21 a.m. - When the world grasps the realization human nature is the worst of mankind, that it has served only our self-destruction, and that it must be resisted, then our betterment as individuals and as a species will begin. Refusing to acknowledge these truths will ultimately result in the demise of the universe's most magical, mystical and unique entity - the human experience.


8/6/10: 5:07 a.m. - In our world of relativity, a person of logic and reason rules above all, for they are the only two things capable of transcending the boundaries set by each individual or collective group. Regardless of personal beliefs or general consensus, the truth shall forever remain constant. Logic and reason are the life force within all truths, rendering them constant as well. 


8/3/10: 3:26 a.m. - The thing about love is that it has no equal. Once experienced, every other emotion will pale in comparison. Love has the ability to make one feel immortal, as well as deceased. It is as deadly as it is nurturing. Love transcends all understanding and reason. Whether it is pure or tainted, the essence remains the same, for who are we to tell the forbidden their love is any less real than the permitted?


7/30/10: 11:32 a.m. - When one's soul records righteousness and repentance, it allows that person to be available for God's blessings and miracles. Faith is the conduit facilitating this process. However, one's inequities, as well as all things created against the essential nature of mankind's spirit, must be absent. Water cannot flow freely if the pipeline is inhibited, and neither can God's works. One must clear their spiritual pipeline.


7/28/10: 10:50 a.m. - It takes a particular strength to be left alone to the divisiveness of your own mind, to weather the storm of the conscious self. Most
people cannot do this. But when you can, when you master your thoughts and ideas, you unlock all the mysteries and wonders of the mind. You open passage into the subconscious, allowing it to flow freely and become fathomable. This is when one begins to learn who they truly are.


7/28/10: 2:58 a.m. - I do not expect people to understand. I do not expect people to accept. I do not expect people to listen. What I do expect are the polar opposites: misunderstanding, non-acceptance and to be ignored. This makes my mind the loneliest place in the universe. I once yearned for the things I do not expect, but enlightenment has allowed me to embrace this loneliness. I love my mind and everything within it. It is pure me.


7/28/10: 2:47 a.m. - At night, alone, is when my brain opens up to itself. It is for this reason I remain awake at all hours. I can investigate my own conscious. The things which intrigue become prevalent. I am able to explore my own insanity and my own genius. For a time, I can depart reality into the world as only I see it. This awakens my subconscious, allowing new life to birth dreams of unfathomable relativity and importance.


7/27/10: 1:47 a.m. - After all is said and done, everything will be mistaken... and forgotten.


7/27/10: 1:39 a.m. - People will disregard the truth. Those who listen will scoff when they hear it, and anger will fill the tenderest of hearts when the truth erases their complacency and ignorance. The strength of righteousness is beset by fallacy. The essence of a lie compels mankind's true purpose. Yet, the greatest master of fallacy and lies is mankind. No longer can the truth by itself set us free.


7/27/10: 1:28 a.m. - The importance of the next person diminishes with every moment. Mankind does not understand that we are all here in this universe on one accord. Separation only exists at the will of each thing against our purpose. United in all facets of our existence, our species can flourish beyond mortality. To live forever is not only to realize this fact in ourselves, but to realize it in all that exist.


7/27/10: 1:21 a.m. - Why would love ever want to exist? The world knows not the meaning of the single syllable word. It is only existent because entitlement to it was etched in our souls upon our creation. Despite how one confuses, convolutes, damages or destroys love, it shall never depart from their existence.  Mankind is truly unworthy of such a precious and powerful gift. I fear this lesson will not be learned until the 25th hour.


7/27/10: 1:08 a.m. - The sun has become forever reluctant to breach the horizon and exude its beauty and life giving essence, due to the morbidity and ugliness which is the face of our kind. If each individual were to have the patience to close their eyes and their ears to the world around them, they would discover the despair which their hearts keep, and every beat would drive tears to pour from their spirits.


7/27/10: 1:02 a.m. - The soul details life in between each passing second. You cannot escape a single physical, mental, emotional or spiritual detail. Transgressions -- whether they are to be forgiven or not -- shall not be forgotten. The world's audacity, which has taken the form of normalcy in today's way of life, has no place during the 25th hour. When it is time to pay our debts, we will all discover just how poor mankind really is.


7/27/10: 12:52 a.m. - In life, every exhale releases a piece of our spirit. Each breath brings us one step closer to our death. Irony is the composer leading the symphony of our demise, for the music made by the very act which keeps us alive, comprises the anthology scripting the songs of our death. Yet, we cannot hate irony. We are to blame for every horn blown, drum banged and string plucked, for the instruments belong to us.


7/27/10: 12:39 a.m. - How dare we, as a race of beings, be so vain as to propel the secular and carnal over our intended purpose? In the state of our current existence, do we not undermine the divine will of the higher power with each breath we take? This world crafts a portrait of disappointment, contrasting the picture-perfect dream meant to be our reflection, which was to serve as the inspiration to transform the blank canvas.


7/27/10: 12:27 a.m. - The awareness of one's self is the main motivation for most of mankind's inequities. History has proven true solace of the spirit lies within the pursuit of a glorious destination. Yet, our species has convicted the collective soul to a damnation of recording each and every inequity conceived and executed throughout time because self-awareness honors preservation and satisfaction over righteousness.


7/5/10: 3:25 a.m. - Only when death is considered as an end in itself does it become meaningless. But when it is a means to an end, death serves a greater purpose. The obtaining of salvation is that purpose. A righteous life culminating in death is the means by which we are able to achieve this. The end is eternal life in heaven.


6/12/10: 4:20 a.m. - No person can resist gazing into the eyes of temptation, for we are as open to them as they are to their source, channeling that to our spirit which the righteousness shall never need. Yet, is not the soul which resists the inscription of temptation more worthy than that of the soul which never encounters it? I say blessed be those who can look away from such eyes, for their souls are the only ones which tell the tales of victory.


4/19/10: 2:20 a.m. - Know that in the 25th hour, the ancient mysteries of this world will be told as we discover the last truth. Relativity and time will cease to exist. All that shall remain is what was before everything began. In the meantime, we are advised to heed the whispers of each passing second. They contain hints to the 25th hour, and we would be fools to ignore them.


3/11/10: 1:37 a.m. - It may feel like we are far away from happiness and the truth, but we are much closer than we think. Remember, we live to learn and to love. Sometimes, the two coincide with one another. When they do, both joy and pain can result. We must know though, that when the two connect and pain is what occurs, something as simple as a smile can bring us that much closer to joy again. We must know we are stronger than any situation we
face, and the fight inside of us will connect with the simplicity of the resolution. Everything in life will sort itself out for the best.


1/7/10: 1:31 a.m. - (Inspired by my daughters Vanessa and Jasmine) Love is a state of mind coupled with a collective of physical reactions. True love is the extremely rare instance when the spirit overpowers the body, incidentally allowing us to experience life in one of its purest forms.


12/10/09:  2:57 a.m. – They pondered the definitions spelled out by ripples of life in the oceans of time. Their history was one of deep tranquility. However, amidst their serenity lied a hollowing pain. They would never be together. The universe refused them this. What they shared remained prisoner in the depths of vast waters. As they drowned, visions of grandeur became distorted by waves of reality. Bound by chains of doubt and conjecture, each were left to wonder what could be if only they were allowed to swim to the surface. If only…


11/29/09: 4:33 a.m. - Immortality lies not in the ability to live forever. It lies in the ability to transcend life after mastering the innate fear of death.


10/21/09: 12:02 a.m. - I now understand the power of the need for human interaction. A world without sentinels that are slaves to their inequities by adopting blind eyes which shun the search for the meaning of life would leave the few conscious individuals lonely. Hence, the sentinels continued existence. Furthermore, I understand the incredible strength of the few who detach themselves from the world to achieve enlightenment. I say to you, be the few.


9/25/09: 12:34 a.m. - It is very simple to scale a mountain in this world. It is extremely difficult to scale a hill in the righteous one. False kings stand at
the summits of mountains. Prophets and martyrs stand atop the hills.


8/24/09: 11:58 p.m. - I say unto thee, beware the outwardly holy. Beware those who say they are cognizant of righteous judgment amongst the living in God's world. They are filled with pride, for one will never know if they are truly holy until their final judgment. One can never know the depths or nature of His judgment, for no man or woman will ever know the mind of the Lord. Beware these types of believers and holy people.


7/9/09: 8:48 p.m. - "And out of the darkness he came. The residue of hell's ash was still laden in the crevices of his feet. The scent of the demon's sulfuric breath was still soiling his linen. Satan's voice was still mirrored in the sound of his own thoughts. Yet, he remains unscathed. His faith has brought him through."


5/16/09: 11:56 p.m. - Water is the essential part of everything in existence. Therefore, water is the basis of all creation and life. And as heaven houses the Creator and Giver of life, this means water is a medium to heaven.

5/16/09: 11:26 p.m. - The depths of the mind are fathomable. The depths of the soul are not, for it is the soul which has always been, and forever shall be, the blueprint of our entire being. It is what inexplicably links us to that which lay before our existence, and what awaits us after our passing.


5/16/09: 11:21 p.m. - I yearn to behold the sands of time. If only the whispers of the dead could be heard. If only the known collective mirrored the innumerable pieces of history's phantom reflections. Ah, such knowledge must be mine!