"sweet, sweet dichotomy"

by C. Ikpoh

I love you so because I hate you. I only ever hate you because I love you so. See, it is the balance of our existence that keeps us level; the dichotomy of what you are that makes me feel the way I do. For every song you inspire, there is mire to follow. This is decisively true. You invoke both ends of the spectrum, rarely allowing for any rest in between. Yet, you are always the parallel between heaven and hell. You are the travel guide of this universe, ascending me to the stars while dragging me through the mud just after. When I touch you, I feel alive in my loins but dead in my heart. Alas, when I am with you, I also deaden my loins to allow my heart to breathe. This teetering of emotions affords me the ability to smile grins of sorrow. The porcelain mask I wear beholds the same expression as the face underneath. Yet, still, I yearn to continue my understanding of the perplexity you leave me with. You are the only resolved enigma I shall ever know as pragmatic. I obtain pure transparency through your convoluted ways. You are my best friend in the guise of my worst enemy; genuine feelings drawn from organic experiences are portrayed by the most apt thespian. You are a pleasurable bruise to my mind, body and soul. You are all I never wanted in what I need. You are what you aren't, and you will never be what you are. You are my sweet, sweet dichotomy.