"letters of loneliness"

by C. Ikpoh

I miss you. My skin requests the deliberate movements of your fingers, accentuating the angles extending from your nail beds. My eyes relay the yearning of my conscious self, pleading to be deceived by your gaze. I exude warmth, wasting away without my love's flesh to inhale it. Faint hints of your scent no longer appease me. I desire the only one who knows how to pierce my spirit. Where are you, my love? Return to me.


Are they your beloved now? Can their taste quench your innate natural thirst? My heart holds contempt for them, for it knows not the truth. You lead them to their fate. You liberate them. Yet, you hold me captive to you. You do so because you refuse to lose me. This I know as they are your words. Return to me, please.


How many years of obedience and understanding must pass? Have I not weathered your passion, your lusts and your hate? I compliment your existence without exception. Why will you not embrace me like none other? I was never kin to the merona of times past, nor am I kin to the ones of present. My destiny resides in your kiss. How am I to fulfill it if you are away, my love? I beg of you, return now.


It does not have to be your nature to be so ugly, so wicked. Beauty and strength are in us. Personify them with me. Together, we can define a lifetime born during the genesis of all things. We can walk on the face of suns, scorching them with the soles of our feet, laden with the privilege of God. Are you not enticed to allow sleep for a perennial quest yielding no mercy? I shall provide that to you. What lies within me can perform such a task. Alas, only when you return to me can this be so.


What has been written before us applies to those before us. What shall be written after us will apply to those birthed from our union. Deliver to me what your eyes have promised so many nights as we absorbed each other's souls. The entitlement I garnered with each kiss demands such a payment. Will you honor the debt you owe, my love? Bestow the wealth I command. Allow us to inscribe the unseen future. Return to me.


Time no longer respects my wishes while you are away. I watch it dissipate into nothing, retiring with no purpose. The shortest of moments are fleeting when they once lasted for ages. I now understand your words, "Only time will tell." Yet, time whispers the secrets I revel in no more. I am an outsider without you. Return the gauge of life to me. I am finite, needing of an in. Grant me such a request. Grant this by returning. Return to me, my love.


Return to me so you may return me to that from which I came. Envision my life as it was meant to be. Embolden me with what ignorance cannot. Place death's clammy hands within mine. Take me inside the heart of life itself. Return to me, my love. Reunite us.